Ever since I have worn diapers even though I do not care much what others think, I have always dreamt of ways to bring the adult diaper phenomenon into mainstream society. I truly think it can be done. I would love to be able to normalize in society to a greater extent the wearing of adult diapers. I think this can be done. Signs of it are already present in societies such as Japan wear adult diapers are way more normal for such practical reasons as long train rides. So, why not in other places?
Though most people will not say anything if they ‘catch’ you wearing a diaper as if they have any conscious or understanding they would most likely assume its for personal health reasons. But, I truly believe that the adult diaper wearing notion can be brought into the limelight for more practical reasons and deserve more understandings.
This not only requires a mindset change from people outside the community but also a ABDL community effort to represent adult diapers and the wearing of adult diapers in a more light hearted and practical manner. It will require a grassroots campaign from everyone from diaper product makers such as Bambino Diapers to the community of ABDL’s. I am determined to bring the ABDL community into a better light with mainstream society and I plan to make great efforts to do this. I will be keeping everyone updated on things I will be doing and have done on my blog so stay tuned because this is going to happen – I am determined..
“Ever since I have worn diapers even though I do not care much what others think”
But no face shots in picture huh?
I admire you’re ambition Adrian, it’s sad to think that it only takes a few bad apples to ruin the whole bunch, but we all can do our part to change that. You’ve inspired me to wear diapers proudly and not care what anyone else thinks.
Here here, I like that, Adrian, ambition in you, You have guts and you would inspire me to stand up for myself, even though others ma not like it.
Lou: Its honestly amazing people still ask for face-shots. Honestly, is that all you care about – have a little understanding for some degree of privacy and respect for some people’s lives. I do my best to give every glimpses into my life and thoughts – I do try to maintain atleast some degree of privacy. I would hope you would respect that.
Trucklover350: Thank you for your comments! I greatly appreciate them
Hi Adrian I wish you good luck in the with this, And as for Lou Respect her privacy. Adrian keep up the good work and keeping all of us advised. Thank you again…
Just remember, diapers are just another form of underwear.
Really? Respect your privacy??? You are the one that wants to go public with this. Diaper pride right? Let people know you aren’t embarrassed or ashamed. I am simply pointing out contradictions that you make in your statements. Sorry you took offense.
Lou: Yes, really – respect my privacy. Everyone deserves some degree of privacy. Just because I want to start a ‘movement’ per se doesn’t mean it requires me flaunting my face and giving up my right to privacy. I am not making any contradictions – just because I would like to bring the ABDL scene out of the poor view by the public doesn’t automatically require me to give up my right to privacy. Please try to be a more positive person and not look for negative things to say.
Hi Adrian, love to see your ambition and heart into bringing the AB/DL lifestyle into the view of the public in the correct proper way, not the poor way that a few others have portraied us. If you need any help in the mission please feel free to contact me. id love to prove to everyone out there that diapers are just another underwear choice and at times a great alternative and not that the person who wears them is some kind of freak or diseased in some way. 😀
Adrian, I totally agree that the stigma around diapers needs to go away and I think that, due to your efforts and others like you, this is actually becoming a reality (slowly).
There have already been interviews by Tyra Banks and other TV show hosts of adult babies, CSI has dedicated an episode to the ABDL lifestyle, and recently “The Secret Lives of Women” did an episode on a young lady who is an AB and has a DL Daddy (all find-able on YouTube).
It’s too bad that uber-kinky stuff like BDSM is considered mainstream, but something like a diaper fetish isn’t. Keep up the effort!
By the way, I could use some advice (preferably from a woman).
My wife has known about my diaper fetish every since we got married (yes, I actually mustered up the courage to tell her since I figured it would be easier to do it early than after years of marriage). Problem is, when I’ve asked her if she would be open to exploring wearing diapers with me, she is very hesitant and doesn’t give me much feedback. I can tell it makes her very uncomfortable.
I haven’t pushed the issue, but does anyone have any suggestions for how to introduce diapers to her gently to see if she would go along with it (it’s been a couple of years now), or am I better off leaving it alone?
Adrian
I totally agree and share your dream – the trouble is, certainly here in the UK, that diapers seem a complete “no-no” even in the medically incontinent community. Certainly my elderly relatives have never been given the option – light pads- yes, catheters – yes , but nappies – definately not. There is an enormous problem to over come if we are to convince the world to go for diapers.
Of course there are many people who let us down in the quest for acceptance, with the result that I suspect wearers are more likely to be criminalised than accepted in the future
Best wishes
Richard
This is for wetnbulky.
I too am married, and my wife knows as well. She also is very hesitant, actually she has said it is something she can not muster up herself to do. Personally, I am trying to get out of the fetish (not that I am suggesting that to you) and am finding it very difficult. I am trying to get out because it freaks her out, and I want positive things for her, not negitive. Although our situations differ a little, my advice to you is this: Don’t push her, it may start a reaction that could end very negitivly. For example only, she may begin to distance herself from you, thinking you don’t care about her feelings; she may begin to resent you; or it may just start fights. If she is “ok” with your fetish and has not problem with it, then continue on, maybe one day she will join you on her own free will, and if she does, it will be MORE than worth the wait. If she is not “ok” with the fetish, then my advice is that you two sit down talk it out HONESTLY with one another and come to a conclusion. If you two DON’T work it out (either way) you may find yourself in a bad situation. My wife is NOT “ok” with it, and my job (as a spouse) is to take care of her; it is just something she can’t do. But, if she changes her mind some day, I will be the happiest man alive! I hope it all works out for you and your wife, whatever you two decide.
Wetnbulky,
I am married and very lucky that my wife is very open and accepting. It did take a long time before she became comfortable with diaper play. I think you did the right thing by telling her before you got married and are doing the right thing by being patient and not pressuring her. It’s a hard thing to talk about and almost impossible to explain. Weather or not she will ever warm up to the idea is impossible to tell. However, my wife has become more open over the years as she has become exposed to other kinks and fetishes – I guess ours doesn’t seem so bad.
I do have something that I wrote with a friend dealing with the same thing. I’d be happy to send it to you if you are comfortable posting your email address.
As for working to make diaper wearing more socially acceptable, I am all for it. I do think we are heading in the right direction as you pointed out. A word of caution for everyone – please, don’t allow your confidence to outweigh your discretion. The last thing we need is more bad press. Be respectfull of others and common decency. Like Trucklover said, diapers are just another form of underwear – but its not cool to go around showing off your underwear either. In some states getting caught urinating in public can result in having to register as a sex offender. Please, just be careful.
Wetnbulky, Matt, Wes,
I too am married…and I too told my wife about my diaper wearing before we were married – in fact long before we were married. She was accepting at first and didn’t really seem to mind playing along, but as the years have gone by, she’s become much less comfortable with it and recently said she was not ok with it any longer. I agree with Matt that it is important to respect her wishes. She has to come first. So I indulge when I can and make sure it doesn’t interfere with our relationship in any way – that must and always will come first.
Sounds like we need a group dedicated to married men in diapers.
Lou: Your a douche.
Engmojo, Matt, and Wes,
I guess it says something that we didn’t let this be a deciding factor in who we married, however it is somewhat of an issue in my life.
Like Matt, I have tried in the past to put aside the diaper fetish and focus on just being turned on by my wife, however I’ve come to realize once you are “programmed” a certain way it is almost irreversable. Like, I could never stop liking a nice set of boobs. Same type of thing.
The problem is when I focus too much on the diapers, it become less turned on by my wife. The biggest antagonizer is the diaper “porn” out there…sites like flbabygirl and diapergal, which can cause someone to go so far that they can’t have a normal love life.
While we may be stuck with this fetish, I think the important thing is to not let it control your life or affect your marriage.
A quick question for Engmojo and Wes:
When you did incorporate diapers into your love life, was it all you hoped it would be or was it somewhat anti-climactic? I only ask because I’ve acted out almost every fantasy I’ve ever had in diapers and it’s becoming less and less exciting (everything from changing clothes in a crowded locker room to getting fitted for a tuxedo in a very wet and swollen diaper). Now, i can wear diapers in public and not ever really get aroused, so I’m wondering if diaper sex is the same way?
Unfortunately, my brain hasn’t quite caught on so my daytime fantasies still return to diapers even though I find normal sex much more satisfying. Very frustrating…
Wetnbulky,
Like everything else in life, there’s got to be balance…as hard as it might be, you cannot let diapers take over and become the driving sexual force in your life…that should be reserved for your wife. I’ve always been more interested in wearing and conducting a normal life along side my wife than I was with incorporating into our sex lives so it hasn’t been an issue.
Adrian, would be curious about your advice on the matter from a woman’s perspective….
I guess I would just feel better about wearing them if I knew my wife was okay with it, or even enjoyed it too. As it stands, I’ve been doing it secretly (I have the advantage of having an outside job that requires me to travel around a lot during the day). I hide my diapers in various public places like a Starbucks bathroom cabinet, a local office building that has community restrooms and a large, unlocked supply cabinet, etc. Nobody moves them since they assume someone in the building uses them. I think I currently have 6 locations around my county since I usually can’t pass up a good deal (I recently picked up a brand new bag of Tranquility ATN’s at the Salvation Army for $5.00!).
I can’t help thinking someday I’ll get caught and all hell will break loose, but I also hate to give up something that is so much fun and seems so harmless. I’m not quite as dangerous as I used to be though. A couple of times I actually came out of the dressing room of a halloween store in just a t-shirt and diaper and there were quite a few customers around. Quite the rush, but pretty risky. I now limit my wearing to times I know I won’t bump into anyone I know, and I always make sure I have plausible deniability (I can pass it off as a medical problem).
Anyone ever staged an accident? I once ate a bunch of ex-lax a couple of hours before my paper route and sure enough, in the middle of the route very far away from any public restrooms I suddenly was doubled over with cramps and erupted. I had eaten so much ex-lax that there was no way I would’ve made it.
I also may have a knee surgery coming up where I think they’ll put me to sleep and I’m thinking of drinking a ton of water right before and wearing a diaper so I’ll wet and hopefully leak while I’m sleeping. Should make for quite an embarrassiing situation.
Anyone else?
hi you have the greatest blog i really like this:D
Wetnbulky,
I don’t think you should do that. Doctors are used to that. It happens all the time, people wake up from the anistisa and can’t control their bodies,or it happens durring the surgery. Given that you will be “under”, you probably should play it safe and just follow the doctors directions. While I understand the “thrill” of the situation (even though your under)surgery is a pretty serious thing, even minor ones.
As far as hiding your diapers in public places, I see where a person could get a rush out of that, but I think it is taking to much of a risk. If someone finds out, sees you, catches you, etc… It could be a huge disaster for you! Also, to reiterate Wes, we should have a certain amount of discretion about our buisness.
As far as “once your programed, always programed” I disagree. I believe that the bottom line is Self Control. I have watched myself turn away and say “no” at times I thought I couldn’t, I have also started a day with “no” and then didn’t follow through with it. I’m still working, but haven’t quite made it yet. I can tell you that I have much more self control now, then I did 2 years ago. I understand the “atraction” to the diapers. For example, men generally (respectfully) are attracted to woman, it’s nature. Men aren’t usually attracted to a tree, or a squirl, or a park bench; but, if something in your life has happened around those objects that causes you to be “turned on”, then those objects are now a stimulous for you; ie – the diapers. Fetishes can be replaced (I believe); it’s a hard and very long road, but I think it can be done. I’m living proof. So, I say all this to encourage you, if you want out and you think it is the best for you and your wife, YOU CAN GET OUT!
I have much more to say (on all topics) but I’ll stop there. Every thing I have said today has been out of RESPECT but it is ALSO my personaly beliefs, and that is where I stand.
Matt,
You make some interesting points. I probably won’t follow through on the surgery thing simply because I’m always afraid they will write something in my medical record about me being incontinent and it will be there forever. That would suck.
I think there is a difference between attraction and self control. I’m able to say no to the diaper desire if I need to and have gone for long periods of time without indulging myself, however I’ve never successfully rid myself of the attraction. I do think it’s possible to restrain yourself and it sounds as if you are doing that successfully, but if you were “out of the fetish” you wouldn’t be on this site, right?
I’m not trying to slam you or anything because I respect that you are genuinely trying to do what is best for your family. I would LOVE to rid myself of this fetish, but have never spoken to anyone who actually has. I’m sure I could be wrong and if someone has a proven system, I’m all for it. Diapers have wasted more time than I’m willing to admit and I really have nothing valuable to show for the times I’ve spent indulging myself.
Wetnbulky
Good point, your right. If I had completly rid my self of the fetish I wouldn’t be here, and some day, hopfully sooner than later, I won’t be. I have approched my situation like an addiction. For example, an alchoholic (after he/she has SUCESSFULLY weind themselves off) probably won’t go back to the alchohol even though they really desire it. Maybe a better example would be a smoker. Even though they see others doing it, they know (having been there) it’s not the best thing for them. And the ones who successfully quit smoking arn’t bothered by it anymore (even though it’s all around them).
As far as Attraction goes, maybe we can use the smoker as an example and aply the same outcome here. I’m sure the smoker is attracted to the cigirate and probably wants one, but he/she stands by their guns and doesn’t give in (having experienced all the thrills of smoking the first time around) thre is no need to go back to the habit. We just might be attracted to diapers ALL OUR LIVES, but what we DECIDE to do with that “attraction” is what labels us as “successful” or “not”.
Thats the way I see it, and even though I haven’t made it 100% yet, I’m still running; I’m still working on sticking by my guns and saying “no”. I truly believe that is the only way out, because when we (humans)give in and indulge, it just strengthens the bond that we have with diapers (or any other desire we might have, like cigirates, etc…)
To any one else who reads this post: do whatever you feel you should do, I’m not here to “convince” ANY ONE, that they need to get out; that would just be rude toward Adrian and Peter. I am merly giving my personal openion and sharing my situation with othes. You do whatever your convictions hold true for you. What I have said, I believe and I stand by that
I will share some of my personal feelings on diapers and what I think is ok and what isn’t. First, I think that as long as diapers don’t interfear with you carrying on a relatively normal life, then there is nothing wrong with it. The addiction analogy is a good one. In fact I guess diapers can become an addiction for some of us causing damage to careers, relationships, etc. Everything in moderation right? This is of course assuming you are wearing diapers simply for the feeling or thrill and there is no medical reason.
As far as diapers and relationships go, I think it is important that you always put the relationship first. What I mean is I have seen far too many AB/DLs out there looking for a “mommy” or “daddy”. You have to be a good husband/boyfriend first and make sure your priorities are straight. I also think it is important that you share your desires with your partner. There are good and bad ways to go about this and I think it just depends on the relationship as for the how and when. “Getting caught” is probably about the worst way to broach the subject. Be realistic and patient when you bring it up with your partner. Books like “Different Loving” may help you discuss this with your partner.
I have to say that my relationship with my wife is great and we love each other very much. We talk openly and frankly about our feelings or if things are a little uncomforable to talk about we write letters to each other. Communication is key to any good relationship. I very much appreciate that my wife lets me indulge in my diaper fetish and I let her know that. We have fun with it and try not to be too serious about anything. It took a long time for her to be comfortable with everything – but we talked a lot and I tried to be very patient along the way.
I would like to post my essay I wrote on this subject somewhere that it can be accessed and read and commented on. Maybe on the IMABDL forum? I’d like to continue this discussion in an actual forum instead of in the comments section of Stacy’s blog. Thanks Stacy for letting us go this long!
Wetnbulky,
You asked if sharing my desires with my wife was everything I hoped it would be. I guess the answer is “yes”, but I also had realistic expectations. At first I simply appreciated the fact that my then girlfriend had allowed me to share something with her and she didn’t run away. I was satisfied that she accepted me for all of who I was. I didn’t push her to participate, but we talked a lot about it and looked at websites together. Again, the relationship always came first and we had established that long before this came up.
By superbaby on Nov 11, 2008 | Reply
Lou: Your a douche.
Watch what your saying guy, everyone has their opinion here so be respectful of others comments good or bad that why this site is here. That’s my wife your talking to like that, and i honestly don’t appreciate that kind of comment towards her.
Wow, this blog entry sure did get a lot of comments.
Yea, I think this is probably the largest amount of discussion I have seen on any topics yet.
As far as my two cents on your spouse knowing…it’s best to be honest with her. It’s not right to try and hide things from them and it will only make things worse if she or he feels that you are trying to hide who you are from them. Now, is that to say if your wife is uncomfortable with this you should force it upon them, of course not. But you have to be true to who you are, and still try to be respectful of what they want. As my wife always puts it to me, marriage isn’t going to work if it requires you to change who you are just to make it work.
In my case though, my wife knew about it prior to us ever getting married. She in fact turned out to be a little girl herself…I guess that probably being what attracted me to her in the first place. But my wife understands my desires and helps normally in any way she can. Today was my first day back in the office after two months of being away from it, so she knew it was going to be a bit stressful for me to just jump right back in. She was very kind today to meet me at the front door, and after I got undressed helped me into one of my diapers and a onesie and told me to go take a nap while our two boys were taking there afternoon naps.
I have set up an email address for myself if you wish to contact me there. It is g-man79@live.com This address is for contact reguarding discussions (so we don’t take up everyone else’s cance to post). Some one asked recently if one of us would feel comfortable posting our email address, so I created one just for that.
THIS ADDRESS IS ONLY FOR DISCUSSION PURPOSES! I AM NOT TRYING TO TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM ADRIAN OR PETER!
So, Wes, Akbound, wetnbulky, or anyone else who wants to email, please feel free. I just set it up, so it may take a day or two to figure everything out at this address, but please email anyway.
Adrian/Peter, I hope I haven’t steped on any toes here, if I have, please forgive me. Feel to write; it is only ment as another means of communication.
Thanks
Matt,
Thanks for posting the email address. I’m going to create an address for the same purpose, and when I do I’ll shoot you a message. I had a very interesting (enlightening?) experience yesterday that really affirmed our discussion. Adrian, if you are reading this, we would love your feedback. I think I speak for everyone when I say that your comment responses are almost more valuable than your posts. I ran a blog for a while and I do understand the time committment, but if at all possible I would love your feedback. Thanks for all you do!
Well among divers (a part of them at least) nobody minds when you say that you wear a diaper under your drysuit as it is the most convenient, so might disagree and prefer to hold it, and some others will just clap hands and say well good idea. But nobody will consider you a freak…
For the Netherlands where I live, media has given a lot of attention to the ABDL thing and community. In 5 or 6 years, we went from an anonymous community, to a known community. We’ve been on TV (in positve and negative ways) on the radio, magazines, we have two adult clubs, that are centered around it. That media exposure had no significant result on the way the community interacts with society. It went from unknown to just another kink like SM/pony play/etc.
It doesn’t liberate the community as such, but we got it, on the list of accepted kinks, which you would normally not talk about anyway. After all, what do we as a community want, from society?
I to was married,she new before marrige and 4yrs.after marrige she left me. 27yrs later Im still alone..I dont get close enough to a woman to care about me.THE BABY is still with me! Internet puts a little hope in me, that I might find a fe-male companion here that might understand the baby part of me.My HEAVENLY FATHER above knowes how its been with me..im alive for a reason,And I try to live my life helping others the best I know how.Ive asked the LORD for a open understanding loving ,GOD belieaving FE-MALE to be in my life,but it makes me feel un-rightious not to say this to the woman straight upfront all that knowes me knowes that im a fair person..AND hoping that expressing myself on the internet ,will help others, besides my self..I feel myself its been with me my whole life (the baby) So I deal with it the best I can Cause it is part of me..Its not consuming,but it is a part of me that has never gone away.my heart feels for swhat they have gone thru..BUT I FEEL IF I CAN MAKE IT THRU THIS LIFE BEING A JUST PERSON..THE BABY IS GOING TO SEND ME TO HELL..THANKS GOOD LUCK GURU BABY
wow, really wish this could happen sooner than later
Yeah, I think we’ve all had these kinds of thoughts before. Wetnbulky brought up BDSM, and had good point regarding the fact that its comparative kinkiness should, in all logic, make it a harder sell to the general public than ABDL. That doesn’t seem to be the case though; in the public consciousness, BDSM, which was considered totally unacceptable 60 years ago, has now become what we think of when we think of sex. However, the key difference that holds the ABDL world back from that kind of public recognition is that BDSMers have been building a very open, intelligent, and supportive community since the 1950s. And let’s face it … the majority of people searching the Internet for ABDL material are not interested in the community. They are (for lack of a nice way of putting this) looking for something to jerk off to. They find it and they split. They have no interest in speaking with others intelligently via the web, don’t want to meet in public, and they won’t even risk outing themselves to their significant other. In short, they are closeted even from their own community.
BDSM had people like Betty Page to bring the subculture into the public eye and let everyone know that it wasn’t just gross old guys in dungeons, and that it could be fun, sexy, and tasteful. If some sexy young model or pop star came out publicly as ABDL and did a shoot in playboy or Esquire with Little Girl themes that had even a single diapered picture, you can bet that diapers and ageplay would be the new bondage.
Unfortunately, the contradictions that Lou was (not very tactfully) bringing forth are grounded in a very real issue in the community, one which will have to be addressed before ABDL subculture will be ready to “go public.†That issue is the almost inseparable notions of shame and humiliation associated with diapers. We have got to have people out there who are willing to do some careful thinking, to find ways of making the general public ABDL-aware so that people who discover that they are ABDL don’t feel like it’s a good idea to closet themselves so severely they won’t even fill out a profile. That’s going to mean risking shame for a lot of us. The community can’t remain faceless forever.
Now, I don’t show my (entire) face on my blog, but I come damn close. Close enough to where people who know me would probably recognize me if they somehow found their way to my site. That person would have to be surfing a diaper site to find it though … and that’s not likely unless they are also ABDL. But this really isn’t about convincing everyone who wants to mean something to the community to show their face all over the internet. In all honesty, I’m not even sure how much that would help. What the community really needs is someone young, attractive, and loaded with crossmarket-appeal who will be willing to not only show their face to our community, but to the world at large.
Once there are a few brave souls putting themselves into the public eye while laying down the dogma for people who aren’t in the know, (we’re not pedophiles, we play at a range of ages including adult, etc.) more people are going to start finding their way to the community with a greater willingness to participate constructively. Reaching out to the BDSM community would probably be a good first step, including making a bigger showing a BDSM events with higher ABDL turnout, ageplay/diaper scenes and seminars, things like that. BDSMers are generally more accepting of alternative lifestyle choices than anyone else.
Personally, I try to keep a blog that non-ABDL people won’t be scared off by if they were to come across it. Adrian does a great job of this too; iheartdiapers.com is probably the first site I would show to someone who had no prior knowledge of the ABDL subculture. Something else I’ve done that I think might stand a good chance of helping the community is writing a feature film with some LG elements in it which I fully intend to get made once I’ve graduated from the New York School of Visual Arts, where I am studying directing. I might even casually out myself if I get any questions in that direction following the film’s release, assuming that the critical reception is good enough to where it won’t be likely to hurt my career. In any case, there are a lot of ways to help the community become more public … people are just going to have to organize and make a business plan before that can happen.
I must say I very much hope this gets going and the sooner as the ABDL community can integrate into proper organisations, the better.
Publicity is a difficult topic. The best way for it to happen would be for some pop idol to bring it into focus without shame but also in such a way that is difficult to criticise and which would allow the positive side to get proper attention. The stigma must go if any of us are to stop living in perpetual fear of being ‘caught out’ on something so utterly harmless and in fact beneficial
Thanks for your efforts to show a more socially acceptable side to the ABDL community. I do respect your privacy and hope you respect mine. I won’t want my picture up here either as I have a public life in addition to my private life. Ingrid’s comments are also appreciated. Public notice, on its own, will do nothing to convince people that we our interests have nothing to do with anyone other than consenting adults. I appreciate what you have done and don’t blame you for not doing anything you don’t want to.
adult diapers mainstream? yes it canbe done I make it a point to show off my diapers in public lol
I would love to see this happen. Don’t worry about putting up the face :). Some people are pervs, of course. Keep working on it. I’m a normal person, but I’m also a DL. Have a good one.
Lovely article,i totally agree that diaper wearing should be mentioned in a light hearted fashion.
To get rid of the stigma is pretty easy in theory,stop calling them diapers/nappys and rephrase the word to make it socially acceptable.
For the life of me i really do not think its a big deal deal,and am actually attempting to do something about the situation.
I have seen some really nasty public toilets on my side of the world and this alone is reason enough for a starting point of integrating it into mainstream society.
The way to mainstream adult diapers, is to be open and honest. I stopped worrying about who knows that I wear diapers. I am open about incontinence, and diapers. Everybody knows that I wear diapers. I have yet to have any negative comments. I joke about diapers, and others joke about my condition in good fun. On top of that, I have helped others, and have been helped by others concerning incontinence, and bladder control products. I hope this helps.