Every once in a while something comes along that makes me glad of spaces like Adrian’s webpage all over again.
A friend snapped a picture of this Chicago billboard on her morning commute. It’s pretty much the worst attitude toward incontinence and adult diapers you could find:
The doctor who paid for the board is, of course, someone who makes money doing surgeries to “cure” urinary incontinence — with a pretty uncertain success rate, lots of nasty potential side-effects, and a big ol’ hefty fee for every one he performs.
So it’s not just shaming out of spite. It’s shaming out of greed.
This sort of thing makes me furious. And it makes me even more grateful for the opposing voices (like Adrian’s, and those of the other guest bloggers here, and those of our many commenters).
There is never any reason to listen to someone who wants to shame you. At best they’re assholes; at worst they’re actively trying to manipulate you for their own profit.
To hell with guys like this doctor. Diapers are for anyone who needs them — or who wants them, for that matter.
Ladies included.
I agree, and I think this sort of thing happens because culturally, for hundreds, if not thousands, of years anything like wearing diapers as an adult is lumped into the “loser” category. So to be fair, this doctor probably has no idea that anyone could be offended by his billboard, and that there are some adults who like diapers. It is pretty out there for most people.
This was some bad thing for a doctor to have.
I think alot of us have been told when we were little boys and girls growing up that “diapers are for babies. You’re not a baby, are you?” I’ve always thought that was bullshit. Even from the time I was 7 yrs old, whenever I visit the stores with my mom, I’d see cardboard boxes of adult diapers. They weren’t marked “diapers” or “adult diapers”, but I knew what a diaper looked like. It always puzzled the hell out of me; if diapers were for babies and toddlers, then why do they have diapers in adult sizes? That didn’t make any sense. It still doesn’t make sense.
This also doesn’t send a particularly kind or encouraging attitude towards those for whom there *IS* no “cure”. Those with spinal injuries, brain damage, cerebral palsy, MS, autism, or numerous other disabilities are basically being told “Yeah…you suck. Fuck you.”
Very discouraging and disrespectful sign.
No kidding! I’ve known people who have Cerebral Palsy, some who have MS, who, because they can’t make it to the restroom because of some physical disability and have to wear diapers. What pisses me off is the ads you see on tv for drugs that say will help control bladder flow. I disagree totally. There’s nothing wrong with a person’s bladder flow. If a person is allowed to wear diapers, he/she won’t have to worry about urine flow, since the bladder is only doing what’s natural.
*This* lady with CP finds that sign especially galling, because it triggers some bad memories. Memories of a counselor who, exasperated at my refusal to give up diapers, yells, “Babies wear diapers! Adults don’t!” She actually behaved as if she were personally offended that I would do such a wildly nonconformist thing as wear a diaper.
Unfortunately, it’s all too common for incontinence-treatment ads to do this sort of thing. I can remember one magazine ad from thirty years ago, which showed an elderly man lying on his back, with his diaper in full view. The ad implied the product in question would eliminate such supposedly humiliating scenes and spare the elderly person’s dignity. As with the above ad, the writers could not conceive of people who weren’t embarrassed by wearing diapers, let alone people who enjoyed them.
While I’ve not seen such magazine ads I have seen ads that say that “overactive bladder” (another word for urinary incontinence) is not normal at any age and that there are ways to treat this” and not have to keep running to the bathroom to pee. Even if that were the case, so what? Define normal. I’ve come to believe that if the bladder is allowed to urinate at will, then it’d be healthier.
There have always been, and may always be those who are unable to control their bodily functions as the “Norman” population do. Whether the lack of control is due to illness, injury, birth defect, or other, there’s going to be a need for wheelchairs, crutches, hearing aids, glasses, seeing eye dogs, etc.
Society has accepted many of those less fortunate and have made their lives easier with wheelchair ramps, closed caption, larger fonts on cell phones and PC’s, etc.
Society has not yet accepted those with incontinence as they do with other disabilities, though I believe things are changing. Generally, people still look upon those who need diapers as freaks, defective, lazy, the list goes on. Many see those who wear and use diapers as unfortunate and defined by the incontinence and not accepted as an equal who need assistance, like glasses, hearing aid, cane, etc.
Things are changing. People are talking about it now. Advertisers are promoting protection. Stores have aisles dedicated to it. There are doctors trying to get rich from it.
There’s always going to be those trying to profit from those with disabilities. Those who make jokes about incontinence.
Then there are doctors who promise a solution to incontinence, some of which help, and some that do virtually nothing, and some that cause further problems.
I’ve accepted my incontinence over the years. I’ve tried many of the drugs and a few surgeries that didn’t really help. I don’t allow myself to be defined by the diaper I must wear, but for those who choose to define me like that, I dismiss as ignorant.
Hey Ellyn. I’ve long accepted my incontinence. And it doesn’t it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. What’s always bothered me, and still bothers me to this day, are those who promise “cures” for incontinence. I’ve seen ads on tv for drugs that help with incontinence. Why would anyone want to cure something that’s a natural occurance? Why not just wear diapers and just enjoy life?
All-
Not that I wish to engage in an on-line debate about the acceptance of diapers, let me say this… I don’t believe that most people who are truly incontinent “want” to be dependent on diapers for life. I can only really speak for myself (though I believe that my incontinent friends will agree), I gave “a cure” several tries. For me, the attempts didn’t work out, but that’s not to say I’m not up for another attempt. Instead, for now , I accept my life the way that it is and have chosen not to wear diapers for life, but to be happy with my life wearing diapers. I’d choose the cure anytime, if it’s without risk of worsening incontinence and without horrible side effects.
I’m thirty something now and can envision my life in diapers. I wouldn’t sell my soul to not have to be dependent on diapers, but would take the risk of a “cure” if I was convinced that it would help.
If it works, I’d say use it. If the side-effects are acceptable to live with, go for it. While incontinence may not be fun to have happen to you, I don’t know anyone who likes peeing their pants, much less pooping in their pants, I’d rather wear diapers to deal with the incontinence than to have a cathether stuck up my dick, or use drugs, which may have harmful, maybe even dangerous side-effects.
I know exactly how this makes you feel.
I’m short sighted – I wear glasses every waking moment of my life.
The ads for laser eye surgery drive me crazy, trying to say I’m a second class person because I choose not to take a somewhat risky procedure – which may still leave me needing glasses, just not such thick ones.
I wear diapers for plewp_e, but I wear glasses because they let me see and they are now part of who I am – I’ve worn them for more than half my lifetime – I’ll probably wear them until I die.
When my continence issues began, my urologist *URGED* me to use a catheter. My general statement to that was “Umm…no? I don’t like the idea of shoving a tube up my junk?” He was a little nonplussed (I was 17 at the time), and explained that they could open a hole in my belly so I could empty it there. I just…stared at him. I was having a very hard time communicating that I felt that wearing diapers was preferable to wetting my pants, and that I was actually pretty chill with the situation. We tried medication, exercises…nothing really took. The simple fact that I had come to terms with “Yeah, I have to wear diapers” seemed an alien concept, like I was supposed to rage against my not-properly-functioning body…which didn’t really help much because when you’re wired wrong…well, you’re wired wrong. Short of surgery (which, given that I refused to even have wisdom teeth removed due to a profound phobia of general anaesthetic and…y’know…having people cut into me), not much to do for it.
But its the message that, even if continence CAN’T be regained, you should be ashamed. If catheters are not an option (I have friends who cath, I have seen diagrams, the actual reality of it still just doesn’t sit right with me), then…well you’re left with diapers. Oh well.
Which is really what friends are for. My friends who know…*VERY* accepting. As one put it “Its really not my business what you wear under your pants”.
So yeah. As I said: This sign is both dissapointing and…well it confuses me on some level, because it is a guilt based ad…for something that people have no control over and should NEVER be made to feel guilty about.
I agree. No one should be ashamed of having to wear diapers. No one should be ashamed of liking wearing diapers. I need to wear diapers because My bladder is cannot hold its liquid for very long before I need to pee, and I can’t stop what I’m doing just to take a leak. Soooo, I wear diapers. I don’t mind it.
Actually that sign is illegal and goes against the ADA (Americans with disabilities act of 1999)
It is clearly Ableism (disability oppression) and anyone with disabilities could sue, especially functionally incontinent individuals in wheelchairs.
It would be nice if someone called that doctor, explained he is in violation of the law, and will be sued if it is not taken down.
Nevermind the law, how about common sense? You don’t belittle those who have disabilities, you help them.
Offensive ad and I truly question the ethics of this Dr. Did he really need to put up the display of those types of underwear for the ladies too? He’s got some issues.
I totally agree. I don’t believe that it is necessary. All it does is make people who need to wear diapers feel ashamed of that. I don’t believe that’s what doctors are supposed to do.
What a Jerk This guy should be reported to the Advertising Standards Authority for discrimination against people like you & I who through no fault of our own have to wear adult nappies/diapers. no one should be made to feel ashamed for what they have to wear as specially as diapers are not just maent for babies any more.
I totally agree. Nappies aren’t just for infants. I remember when I was a boy, I’d see shelves full of packages and boxes of adult briefs (diapers, nappies), so I knew that diapers didn’t just come in babies’ sizes.
I agree, Diapers are not just for infants. They are also for people who have bladder issues or just like to wear them. I think they should treat diapers as just a pair of underwear or a pair of shorts.
Hey Nicky. I totally agree. I remember first seeing adult diapers when I was about 8 yrs old (I’m 40 now). Although not called “diapers” on the box, they looked just like the kind of diapers babies wore, except in adult sizes. At the time, I didn’t know that they made diapers for adults. I thought “that’s so cool! Diapers for those older than infants.”
That’s why Jason, I simply see diapers as just a pair of shorts and underwear in one.
I totally agree. That’s the way I see them. 🙂
Why would you shame people for wearing diapers, when diapers are just normal underwear and a pair of shorts in one. I wear them for comfort & stress relief. Wearing diapers is not something to be shamed about.
Exactly! Why would anyone shame anyone out of wearing diapers? That doesn’t make sense.
Their is nothing shameful about wearing a diaper. some have to wear it for a need and some wear it for comfort or sexual desires. Like me, I like diapers for comfort and less stress on my life.
I totally agree. I’ve never understood why some people feel the need to make people who need to wear feel ashamed of it. Or if they like being able to just pee at will without having to look for a toilet.
I never understand, but then again, we live in a world full of idiots.
LOL! We do indeed! One doesn’t have to like the fact that someone likes wearing diapers, but to make that person feel ashamed that he/she is diapered, that’s unacceptable.
I have seen people laugh and shame people for wearing diapers. It’s very pittyful.
I’ve never seen it happen myself, but I’ve seen commercials for certain drugs advertised that say that Overactive Bladder (another word for Urinary Incontinence) isn’t normal at any age, and that it can be cured or treated. I suppose if there’s an underlying problem that’s serious enough, then perhaps that should be remedied. But if there’s nothing wrong, then there’s nothing wrong. One should just be allowed to wear diapers and just go on with life.
Which is why, I am all for letting people wear diapers no matter if it’s for medical, sexual or personal preference. They should not be shamed in to wearing diapers. They should be allowed and accepted for their preference. I even think Diapers should be allowed in public cause it’s nothing more than a pair of short shorts and underwear in one. Diapers are something that let’s people get through the day without ever finding a toilet. It’s why I see diapers as something that let’s me get on with life with less stress.
I totally agree. I went for a walk in downtown Gig Harbor, Washington. There aren’t very many public restrooms, and when you need to pee, unless you have a good sized bladder, you’re screwed, unless you’re wearing diapers.
That’s why people should not be ashamed because they wear diapers. Wearing diapers is something some people need and it’s normal.
I totally agree.
Why should anyone be ashamed of wearing diapers? That doesn’t make sense. Not everyone needs to wear for medical reasons. Not everyone has an AB or DL “fetish” for diapers. I don’t need diapers for medical reasons, nor do I have a fetish for them. I’m neither lazy nor am i mentally retarded. I’m more than capable of making it to the bathroom when I need to pee or poop.
The search for the cause of my incontinence became WAY too invasive and triggering. The POSSIBILITY of not wearing diapers was NOT worth the torture I was being put through. People in my life STILL do all the can to shame me. “It’d save you money each month”, “Don’t you want to wear normal underwear?”, “Do you at least try to go?”
Jmm… my sanity is worth more than money.
Why would I care about wearing panties? So I van spend my saved money on them?
I’m not going to try to go because there is no gain. It didn’t work all those years I wasted on it, stop trying to revolve my damn life around toilets and the useless quest to gain back a bit of continence I don’t even give a fuck about! AAAAUGGGH!
Who hasn’t done that? Anything to get one out of diapers. Why they would try to make a person feel ashamed of wearing diapers is beyond my reasoning.
The day I gave up my quest for continence was the day I was yelled at during an ultra sound of my bladder. “You need to stop doing that, we need your bladder full!”
Well, you stupid bitch, if I could DO that, you wouldn’t be taking an ultra sound of my BLADDER!
I don’t know anyone who can hold on forever. I’ve tried doing that and it hurt like hell.
Yeah, I had a similar experience.
Ultrasound guy: “Ok, I need you to empty your bladder a little.”
Me: “…ok…were you not clear on the part where I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THAT?”
Ultrasound guy: “Errr…could you at least try?”
Me: “Dude…if I could do that, I WOULDN’T BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! Do you know how much trouble I’ve had just keeping the damn thing full?”
A few minutes pass of short comments and uncomfortable silences.
Me: “Well. There you go.”
Ultrasound guy: “Now its not full enough…”
So Miakoda, I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from there. *fist bump* Good on you for calling this douchebag out on his bullshit.
I agree. Who the hell are the doctors to decide how to treat the problem? Or whether to treat the problem? Unless the problem is caused by something serious, bladder cancer, kidney stones, etc., then why try to cure it? Why don’t they just leave the damn thing alone?
That’s bullshit. Why would a doctor try to cure incontinence? It’s one thing to try to cure something if it’s serious, like say, bladder cancer, prostate cancer. If you have kidney stones that are making it painful to urinate, that can be a problem that needs to be fixed. But if there’s nothing wrong, why fix it?
I just called this ass hat doc and told him his billboard was offensive, not ALL ladies CAN be cured of their incontinence, and some ladies may find the procedure more of a problem than the incontinence itself. I also said it was inappropriate for him to be shaming patience in to calling him.
Good for you. Such billboards should be banned. And doctors who would seek to “cure” incontinence should have their licenses revoked.
Not to mention, he cures URINARY incontinence. Way to shame the fecal incontinence patience you don’t even treat, asshole!
@ Miakoda: I couldn’t agree more. Unless there’s an underlying problem that’s causing the incontinence (bladder cancer, prostate cancer, kidney problems, etc.), then why try to cure the incontinence?
I think that this doctor is actually probably a nice guy, he doesn’t come off as particularly greedy to me, I mean doctors have been hit by the hard economic times too, and with having to pay rent on his office and paying the nurses and assistants, he was probably just trying to get more patients so he can continue living the way he likes to. Also, many people (especially doctors) don’t realize that people often don’t want to be cured of non-harmful, non-painful conditions. My friend’s dad is an endodontist (root canals) and their family is having trouble paying off their not very extravagant house.
I have personal experience regarding research to cure autism, I have an autism spectrum disorder (formerly called asperger’s), and I have no desire for a cure. It’s just the way I am! (Asperger’s also makes me less prone to be offended though, if someone were to be called say, a “dumb nigga”, I would first think, “oh, a person of african descent who can’t speak.” Only later will I realize that it was meant to be a racial slur.
I agree. I’ve known people who have Autism, and they’re not that much different from anyone else. Unless there’s a serious problem that could kill you, or hurt you in any way if a cure is not found, then why even try to cure this Autism? That doesn’t make sense.
I don’t know anyone who likes being called offensive names, I’ve been called everything from fat-ass, to faggot, to queer,etc. I’ve had people say that they could cure me of my homosexuality. I’d tell them “no thank you. I don’t need to be cured.”
Anyone who would try to cure anyone of their need to wear diapers should have their heads examined.
I agree with you there Jason.
🙂
I am 34 years old & have had to wear diapers/nappies since 2010 due to a medical condition/disability,I don’t want to be cured as I have accepted the fact I will probably be needing them for the rest of my life,This guy as I have mentioned in my previous blog should be ashamed to force a cure on those that either don’t want one or if it’s not required.
I support all those who are against this jerk he is way too old fashioned in his views for me a diaper is better than a messed up body due to botched surgery or life long pain & scars that remind you of your shame.
I agree. Who in their right mind would try to find a “cure” for incontinence? That’s like finding a “cure” for Autism or trying to find a “cure” for homosexuality. It just doesn’t make sense. If it’s something that might kill you if surgery isn’t performed to remove it, then surgery it is. But otherwise, leave it alone.
I don’t need diapers for medical reasons, nor do I have a “fetish” for them. I simply can’t hold on indefinitely, and I need to pee, sometimes poo. I just can’t be near a restroom all the time when I need to relieve myself. So, diapers, pee in your pants, or surgery to keep the damn thing shut? I’d choose diapers. 🙂
Anyone who would try to shame those who wear diapers out of wearing diapers should themselves be ashamed.