When I write about diapers, it’s often in the context of wearing them in public.
That’s partly because I’m a fashion writer by trade (well, one of my trades; you can get paid to write about anything, these days). Working unusual accents or specific needs into different wardrobes comes naturally to me.
But there’s also a bit of a normalizing agenda for me there — I like to encourage the idea of diaper-wearing as an uncontroversial choice. It doesn’t always have to be baby clothes and oversized pacifiers and fetish-mommies in high heels, and on the flip side it doesn’t always have to be a desperate struggle to hide every trace of crinkle or bulge, either.
So, wearing a diaper in public: is it all right to let it show? And if so, how much is too much?
No More Shame: Be Comfortable with Your Bulge
To answer the first and easier of those questions, yes, it is all right to be visibly diapered in public.
That is to say, you should not feel ashamed if you think someone has noticed your diaper, whether it’s because of a bulge or a plastic waistband poking out or a noisy crinkle when you walk.
There are certainly reasons to be discreet, and ways to dress to minimize the evidence if that’s what you want to do, but at the end of the day, no one who wears diapers regularly is going to “get away with it” 100% of the time.
So, my first piece of advice is always this: be comfortable with your bulge. Accept that sometimes people are going to notice and think “huh, that person is wearing a diaper,” and don’t spend too much time worrying about it. Almost everyone will assume you have your reasons and let you move on with your life. After all, how many times have you stopped and publicly commented on someone else’s undergarments?
How Much is Too Much?
It’s actually not that hard to figure out when you’ve crossed the line from wearing a diaper to flaunting one.
Practical functions aside, diapers are underwear. If what you’re wearing would be showing off a pair of briefs, boxers, or panties to an inappropriate degree, odds are they’re showing your diapers more than is courteous to others, too.
Diapers complicate things a little by being higher-waisted than most undergarments, so you may find yourself showing the waistband more than you would with non-absorbent underwear. But in general, if you’re not flashing the padding between your thighs or the entire top of the diaper, you should be fine.
If the purpose of your outfit is to be comfortable, and in achieving that you occasionally show people your diaper, don’t sweat it.
If the purpose of your outfit is to show people that you’re wearing a diaper and you’re proud of it, reel it in a little. There’s nothing wrong with choosing to wear a diaper, but you don’t have to make a point of it.
Here are some basic examples of public diaper wearing that I would consider to be, in order, appropriate, questionable, and then right out:
Appropriate
- Trousers with a small, visible bulge from the padding.
- The top of a high-waisted diaper showing above a skirt or pair of pants, with a shirt or jacket that hides it most of the time
- A skirt that exposes the crotch of a diaper if the wearer sits with his/her knees apart, or to people looking up from below
Questionable
- Thin or partly see-through trousers as the only layer over a thick diaper bulge, such as mesh gym shorts or knit leggings
- The top of a high-waisted diaper showing above a skirt or pants, with a bare midriff
- A skirt just long enough to cover the crotch of the diaper, but that may flash it when the wearer walks or bends over
Right Out
- A deliberately oversized bulge requiring trousers to be unbuttoned and forcing the wearer to waddle
- Fetishized or babyish clothing with a visible diaper waistband or crotch
- Skirts short enough that they cannot hide the lowest part of the diaper
For the most part, this should all be common sense. Save the obvious baby-play and the heavy, multiple-wetting diapers for more private spaces. Wear your diapers in public with confidence, but without flaunting them.
Remember — choosing to wear a diaper is a normal, healthy option for adults. Getting off on doing it in public is not. That’s involving other people in your sex life without their consent. Keep it classy when you go diapered in public!
I like the post. Your a good writer. My wife and I were at Starbucks the other day sipping a cup of coffee and enjoying conversation. We wanted water so I went and asked the gal behind the counter for two waters. Once I received them I turned around heading back to our seats and noticed a lady and younger one laughing. I thought nothing at first. Then my wife said Hun your diaper was showing in the back due to you shirt slightly tucked in. I was embarrassed and then realized why they were laughing. People are mean. I do a good job of trying to hide it but summer time gets a little tougher.
If you dont want to be teased, dont show them.
Wasn’t done on purpose.
You’ll run into jerks from time to time, but honestly, I’ve never had anyone say anything to me directly, and there have certainly been times where, just because of the way I was moving or what I was wearing, it was pretty clear that there was a diaper there.
If anyone ever does make a comment I’ll give them an odd look and ask if they always start conversations by asking about people’s underwear, but it’s never come up.
Important thing to remember is always that you’re not doing anything wrong by wearing a diaper in public (as long as you’re not doing it in an overt and fetishized way). It’s people who make fun of you for it that are in error.
I agree with you. i dont wear in a fetish way and Ido farely good job of covering up. My issue is over active bladder and urge IC. I go pee between 20-30 times a day. Great response about looking at people’s underwear. I’ll remember that one:). Thanks for your positive feed back! Nice having you on this sight!
Whenever I’m out and about, I try not to let my diaper show, but it has been known to happen. I’ve never considered wearing diapers to be a “fetish”. I have no sexual desire to wear diapers. Nor do I have a medical need for diapers.
I am a man and have been dealing with incontinence issues for the last 5-6 yrs, ever since I turned 30yrs old i am now 35yrs old or will be next month and have tried everything to hide my diapers when I am wearing them in public I’ll go through the list bellow season by season.
Winter: Thermal trousers and a thick jumper and padded coat & woolen hat with ski gloves and socks snow boots and snow chains/grips.
Spring: Black trousers and t-shirt light weight jumper light weight socks, black shoes or snow boots if necessary.
Summer: shorts or jeans and a long T-shirt light weight coat or rain Mack, socks and jumper trainers/sneakers.
Autumn: Medium weight jumper, thermal socks thermal trousers long sleaved shirt and vest, Woolen scarv and hat thermal gloves, trainers/black shoes with extra grips or snow boots.
But nothing seems to work well so my only bit of advice would be be yourself and don’t worry about what other people who don’t know you might say if they mention anything all you have to do is say that your disabled and you need to wear them.
Other than that don’t be so nervous about wearing them most people don’t even know your wearing diapers, unless you make I obvious by acting out of the ordinary, or if you happen to be wearing a extra thick diaper and I know how embarrassing that can be.
In my view as long as your not going out with just a t-shirt and diaper on like a baby would do it’s perfectly acceptable to wear diapers and you won’t be breaking any rules/laws as long as your not exposing or showing off the fact your wearing diapers because what’s acceptable for a baby may not be acceptable for an adult to wear unless you are genuinely a adult baby in which case I understand your point of views.
The point is you are how you are and nothing or nobody else should tell you how to live your life, it’s your body not theirs so don’t listen to the diaper shamers in society as there the ones who are wrong as they are stuck in an old fashioned stigma from the 1950’s.
Times have moved on and those deamed acceptable to wear diapers are no longer the reserve of babies or infants or even the elderly, so don’t be afraid of wearing diapers in public go ahead and wear them with pride.
I myself have hidden disabilities and need to wear diapers virtually full-time and have long since accepted my newly rediscoverd way of life for the first time in over 34-35yrs and haven’t experienced freedom like this since I was a child in the 1980’s, and am extremely greatfull that I choose the right decision in my life.
“The top of a high-waisted diaper showing above a skirt or pants, with a bare midriff
A skirt just long enough to cover the crotch of the diaper, but that may flash it when the wearer walks or bends over”
I disagree. If I can wear it if I weren’t incontinent, then damn it, I have every right to wear it while I am. I should be allowed to be cute or sexy if I want to be!
Whether society in general accepts the idea of adults wearing diapers as being “normal”, or “acceptable” remains to be seen. But I see nothing with wearing diapers. However able-bodied one may be, or however mentally aware of his or her self one may be, no-one can hold on indefinitely, and you’ll always need to pee or poop eventually. It’s just an inevitable part of the human body to need to get rid of waste. It’s just that it’s not always possible to make it to the toilet when you need to go. All the more reason to wear diapers. Whether you wear disposable diapers or cloth diapers and plastic pants is one’s own decision.