I wanted to follow up on my previous post “The Reality of Incontinence” and add some additional thoughts. If you haven’t read my previous post (i.e. Part I), please go read that first.
Being incontinent isn’t as bad as I made it out to be. Obviously, it does have its downfalls but that isn’t to say its impossible to make a difficult situation an easy and sometimes enjoyable situation. That is precisely what I have done my entire life. I accepted the reality of my incontinence and turned that situation into a positive. That is what I would tell people newly diagnosed with incontinence or have had incontinence for a long time. You have to accept the reality and find ways to manage it and enjoy it, otherwise you are going to go through every day dreading your incontinence.
This is one reason why in the beginning and now I have always chosen to go with diapers. Besides there not being another way to really manage both urinary and bowel incontinence, using a catheter to me seems unattractive, uncomfortable, and a huge pain. I know some people use them but they just aren’t for me. Plus, bowel and urinary incontinence cannot both be controlled by a catheter so its just easier to go with one thing, a diaper. Diapers to me have never been that big of a deal. I mean think about it. What person is going to make fun of you if they know you have to wear diapers for a medical condition? If there is a person that does that, well then you probably don’t need to associate with them and they are most likely super insecure.
Incontinence has its challenges but with anything, they can be overcome. You have to plan how you are going to carry extra diapers for diaper changes, changing pad if needed, plastic pants, etc. No matter where you go! Out with girlfriends…but only want to carry a small purse…probably not going to happen because a diaper would not fit or take up almost the whole purse. Thus, many times I am stuck lugging around a huge purse…but hey, there are some super fashionable purses out there that are big…Dooney and Bourke, Coach, what what! Haha.
Its so funny to read about the people in the ABDL community and even in the incontinence community online. I feel like I am so different than everyone out there. Like, honestly, if you saw me in real life – you would probably think I am the furthest person from wearing a diaper or being incontinent. Think…True Religion jeans or Sevens, mixed with some Abercrombie, Splendid, or Michael Stars tops and Dooney and Bourke bag. I know to most people looking at me that would seem so far-fetched that someone like that wears diapers…and believe me, you can tell by the reaction of some people when they find out. Its not so much a “Eww” reaction but more like a “wow, I would not have guessed that”. I still to do this day have never really had a negative reaction to my diapers probably since high school…but come on, its high school.
But, I will use myself as the perfect example. You wouldn’t think I would be incontinent and wear diapers…that is because I made the best of my situation, still maintain a social life, I am happy, satisfied, etc. You take what life gives you and you make the best of it. If life throws you incontinence, well then you wear your diapers proudly and happily 🙂.
You’ve mentioned that you wear Bambino’s but I was curious which brand (assuming you do) of plastic pants you use.
If I may ask, how did your parents handle it when they discovered that you would never be successfully potty trained? I’ve often wondered how parents would handle finding out this truth about a child. Not that it’s a big deal in the scheme of things, but toilet training is such a large part of ones first few years and such a step of pride and joy for both parents and children. I would think and hope that after the innitial shock, most parents would simply accept and teach their children to accept this fact of life, and then move on.
I was pottied trained by age 3 and starting around age 11 or 12 I was wetting the bed. Mom and dad were arquing alot and fighting about stuff including me wetting the bed and my A.D.D. They got divorced when I was 13 and mom would be mad at me cause I wet the bed still. I didnt wet every night, but, like 2-3 times a week. I started wearing diapers to bed at my own choosing because I got tired of the spankings. I babysat alot and was able to get some diapers from my job. I also bought some from my monies I made and hid the bag from my mom in the garage. I got caught wearing them one night and my mom was mad at me bigtime. My wetting got worse to were I needed them every night and I started having accidents in public which made her even more madder at me. My butt was sore alot from spankings , but, the wetting just got worse for me. My mom tried to embarass me by having me in diapers and short dresses as we went to the store or even visiting friends and stuff. I still wet my diapers even out in public. She even start changing me in parking lots of stores and public restrooms to try and further embarrass me, but, it didnt help. Finally we saw a dr. about this and after tests they found my bladder was under developed and my incontinence will get worse as I get older. Im 19 now and im diapered 24/7. For along time I thought mom and dads divorce was my fault because of my A.D.D. and wetting the bed made stuff worse. My mom and dad love me alot now, but, there still divorced. I think my mom kinda enjoys me back in diapers sometimes. Kinda makes our relashionship better than it was years ago. Well, thats my post on parents and dealing with incontinence. Sorry its kinda long.
Hello, I have been reading your posts for many months now and you have talked a lot about how you dealt with incontinence since birth, but hope you don’t mind me asking, how did your parents/guardians realise you was incontinent because obviously from birth there is a need for all babies to wear diapers, was it only when it come time for potty training did they relaise something wasn’t right?
I really like this post.
Adrian, thank you for your open post. It is truely admirable how you deal with your situation. I don’t think many people are so cool about this. chapeau!
I’m a long-time reader and admirer of your bravery and honesty. I am not incontinent but I enjoy using diapers. I’ve always been shy and insecure and unhappily in self-denial about my urge to be back in diapers.
I have alot of DL friends, some of which ARE incontinent. I like to be able to relate to them. Some of these people are so amazing and wise. You are one of these trusted people. It benefits me because I need to learn to be unashamed of being in diapers and totally accepting of them in order to come to inner peace and self-acceptance. I like being around and learning from others who have nothing to be ashamed about. For me its a learning process and this website helps! Thank You!
Adrian, you’re definitely an inspiration to all who truly want to be happy with themselves.
Howdy, Adrian! Could you tell us how you deal with your doctors? It seems the medical establishment always wants to use catheters, scheduled elimination regimes, and such. How did you ever convince your doctors to simply let you be with your diapers?
Hey
thanks for the amazing post, yet again. When life does give you a lemon, you have to learn to make lemonade. That is how I consider my return to diapers.
I too am curious to know how your parents responded when they couldn’t potty train you… also I couldn’t imagine being a young child and still in diapers. You know how children can be very cruel to each other…
As for my i am 36 M an incontinent from spinal cord injure and both urinary and bowel incontinence but cannot in manage to wear diapers 24/7 I have in hospitals but I use a condom catheter in the day and a diaper to just to seat round the house and to bed as I have skin problems from the condom catheter as for bowels I have a routine to stop having accident but sometimes I do have a accident an wish at that time I had diaper on but I cannot imagine going to a bar and chat a girl up with a diaper on I just do not fill like myself or i do not fill like a man. I have grown up that if you hand or not bleeding you or not working hard . So to my I think girls have to be more strong to be wearing diapers 24/7 as the is not a big choose the other options or a foley catheter or a Suprapubic cystostomy and all health problems UTI so on. At list a guy can wary a condom catheter if he wants to
I’m dyslexic …so mi spelling SUCKS hehe
Hey Adrian,
I too would like to know both how your parents dealt with your incontinence as a young child and also how you deal with doctors today. Regarding doctors, I just tell them I’m happy with my lifestyle the way it is and they seem satisified with that answer.
i am a guy and i have incontinence and have no choice but to were diapers 24/7 but the thing is it kind slips your mind in a way i have been wereing diapers so long i dont think any thing of it i dont let it run my life. when i met my girl friend i put it all out there and told her on the first date i wore diapers and she under stands it makes for my life to be much easyer i know my incontinence is cossed by a birth defect but im not sure what it is called the dactor has a weird name for it
yours truely Keith.
Hi. Nice follow up on a good two part topic. Maybe you should do that from time to time. Say one big topic followed by a medium two part topic then just some ramblings to shake up your blog here and it can keep up the anticapation up your next entry. Keep up the good work.
Thats the talk :D! BE PROUD!
I started wetting the bed again at 25, was going through a divorce at the time and the Dr’s thought it was because of that. It wasn’t, after years of testing they found it was MS. I’ve found that taking Imodium once or twice a day usually eliminates the bowel problems, except then I might have to use an enema. But at least that way I know when a bowel movement will happen. But then there are those unexpected problems anyway. Wish that I could find a bowel deodorant that would work. Tried a couple but still too much odor. Tried meds to paralyze the bladder, then used intermittent cathing. Too much trouble. Finally found that in add’n to the MS I have a small bladder, 6oz is about it and then it dumps whether I’m ready or not.
Hiiiiiiii Adrian! 🙂 im new to the diaper wearing world, and I was thinkin maybe you could help me learn some stuff? Like all the basic stuff. Thanks, and my email should be there! 🙂
I have some questions. I wet the bed last year, and i was so embarressed cause im 19yo. And know i start notice that when i feel need to go to the bathroom it stays more and more hard to hold it, but sometimes it doesn’t happens this. But there are sometimes that it happens realy hard i do even sweat to hold it. Is it normal? Please help me!
Hi Hugo I wood go and see you Doc
Hugo- I would definitely go see a doctor about that. You may have a urinary tract infection or something else going on that could cause you some serious problems down the road if you do not get it taken care of.
Hey Adrian,
I am just curious but what happened to your friend Kay? She posted like once I think? And then disappeared. I would like to hear what happned to her, haha!
Have a good un 🙂
omg!Thank you some much!! THANK YOU!! I defently go. I like to wear diapers but just for hobbie 😐 . omg
Oh yes, I forgot about Kay! I’d also be interested in anything she has to say, or Peter for that matter. I know blogging is hard work though, so won’t badger anybody about it.
Please i need more advises about what i have posted… help!
Hugo- I know I’m not a medical doctor. I don’t think anyone here is qualified to diagnose you when they only know what you have posted about your problem here. Please- you need to actually go see a medical doctor or other licensed medical practitioner (Licenced Practical Nurse, Physician’s Assistant (PA’s are certified, not licensed, but work with a doctor)) in order to get a real diagnosis.
Most of us have only the best intentions, but it is easy to be led astray. Don’t take the chance with your health– GO SEE A DOCTOR, HUGO! Don’t be afraid to bring up any topics with him or her. If talking to your regular doctor about urinary / bowel problems makes you too uncomfortable, then find another doctor.
What’s more important- your health or your pride?
I’ve alredy talked to my mom :
And i have a friend who’s helping at the most she can. With these things in my life i can only say, that nothing can stop me :D.
Thank you for youre advise :). I think it is emocional but i’m goin to a doctor.
Love this ppl forever! <3
And you Adrian, thank you for creating this blog! 😀 So helpful
great story about the reality of incontinence and giving the advice of turning a negative into a positive 🙂
I guess what I was trying to say in my previous post is that there are ways to reduce or maybe eliminate most bowel “accidents” if you want. Eating bran with strawberries the morning before going out with the girls wouldn’t be my choice unless I wanted to mess and have to explain the situation.
Adding to Deen’s post, I’d advise you not to have coffee that morning, and to have water instead of a fizzy drink. Just my vast brain conjuring up the words.
For anyone of you people who post the “how do i become incontinent?” Posts, incontinence is not the fantasy you dream of, as Adrian posted. It can be very embarrasing wgen you’re out with friends and have an accident. If you have a good diaper on, you’ll probably be fine, if the accidents aren’t too large. Then comes the problem of changing your wet/messy diaper.
Incontinence has a downside too, like nearly everything else. What you must remember is that as long as you have a legit reason, you’re sure to be fine. Unless you’re in a school situation where bullies exist, and because of your incontinence, you’re more than likely to get put into the “bullied” category.
God, I think I posted something like Opera would say. -.-
Yup, diapers are are a whole lot better than a catheter.
Incontinence is nothing to be scared of.
All you have to do is wear a diaper and you can still enjoy your life like everyone else.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Hi I am incontinent and have been for the past few years I wear diapers 24/7 I would like to meet people with incontinence problems to talk to them about it and I would love to meet a lady with incontinence but there are no dating websites for people with incontinence if there is any lovely ladies that are up for meeting a 26year old lad for a drink and a chat email me aaronsas193@gmail.com